comparison shopping

verb. though most commonly used to describe the rational decision making behavior of well-educated, middle/upper middle/upper class consumers, comparison shopping is now quite applicable to relationships and sex partners. everyone is driving each other around the block a few times, going to multiple dealerships, weighing the pros and cons, and ending up disappointed and regretful regardless of what is purchased.

barry schwartz covers the affective side effects of this behavior (however briefly) in "The Paradox of Choice." When you have (or choose to have, i.e. consider) many options, you are almost always dissatisfied in some way because you can always regret all the things you didn't get. as # of potential partners reaches infinity, amount of regret also approaches infinity.

then there's always the element that this is human comparison shopping, evaluating hearts, bodies, and minds in some sort of sick-o virtual pageant. and the fact that you're always being compared to other options by the people you are considering. at least when it's where to go for lunch, one lunch can't get mad at you for choosing another.

this sounds depressing but there is an uplifting moral to the story: happy are those with low expectations, who are easily satiated, and who can commit. i know, it sounds radical, but it might actually make you happier to stop shopping. and your friends will appreciate the declining trend in your interpersonal drama graph.